I’ve been thinking over the past few days, how should I spin the topic of intimacy in the most meaningful and relatable way.

I’ve been travelling back and forth to the age of innocence, childhood and teenage-hood, seeking to deconstruct the whole narrative we’ve been educated to build around this topic.

How are we taught intimacy?

Along the journey, I’ve found passion and struggle; happiness and pain; feelings and tears; regrets and blissful moments rolling out of my head and falling into my heart. But where is the idea of intimate human connection?

And then, I knew it! — There is no intimacy. We were never taught or showed how intimacy feels like and it left us not knowing how to navigate its depths. Is this how things really are?

Why is intimacy so important? And what is it that we don’t know about it?

Intimacy is the foundation for any conceivable human connection.

In absence of intimacy, we don’t have connections. We have “relationships”.

In absence of intimacy, we don’t grow love. We feed stories and fantasies.

In absence of intimacy, we don’t see the true colours of the other. Instead, we imagine them, according to our own projections and expectations.

Do you remember the scenarios that fuelled you dreams as a teenager?

From Beauty and the Beast to Dirty Dancing; from Casablanca to Titanic — they all seeded in our minds the idea of romantic love. Of larger than life love stories where one had to suffer or to fight or even to die for the story to unfold in the right direction.

And yes! Big love stories can be like that. But are you convinced that’s YOUR idea of love? Are YOU 100% positive you wish for a love story that includes more sacrifice than actually STAYING happy?

If your answer is no, that means you are ready to start putting intimacy before any idea of romantic fantasy and that you are prepared to navigate its marvels.

The true gift a woman can offer is intimacy. But how can you hold this space for others?

It all starts with reconnecting to yourself and with building a foundation that supports you to understand your needs and how to take care of them.

This will bring the “love fantasy” into a real, self accepting, self loving reality where you will discover who you truly are not who you wish to be.

This will open the door to embrace the beauty in every crack that shows up in the mantle of one’s heart.

It will give you access to accepting everything that makes us human — including imperfection, vulnerability and forgiveness.

This way you embracing love in its real mighty way and, very soon, people will feel drawn to your capacity to accept them for what they are not for what they think they must be.

Soon, you will become a space for real authentic intimacy that opens the realm for love.

With all my love,

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