Remember those moments when you do your best to harmonise between getting involved in and staying out of complicated situations? Or when you strive to keep a good balance between showing empathy and staying emotionally detached? How do you balance your positive and negative emotions when the boundaries are so blurred?

That’s tough.

And what’s even tougher than tough is to learn the right way to turn both positive and negative emotions into your best self-care guides — because yes, paradoxically, the most difficult stories are the greatest stories; they teach you the best lessons about your emotional needs and about your own personal truth.

Now, let me get to the point with a story I’m sure you’re going to simply love.

The Story Of The Crescent Moon Bear

Among her many sublime handpicked tales, Clarissa Pinkola Estés tells the story of a young girl who, after many years of solitude and prayer, sees her husband coming back from war.

Yet, the man she saw opening the gate, at dusk, was not the strong handsome man she once married. But a strained, feeble stranger, bearing the proof of pain and suffering.

The young girl did everything she knew best. She wore her special dress. She cleaned the house and laid the most beautiful linens. She went to the central market and spent all her money on the freshest fish, vegetables and bread. And most of all, she did whatever she could to show her kindest side.

In spite of her struggle and dedication, her husband refused everything she had to offer. He rejected her and his old bed, sleeping instead on the porch, barely eating anything at all. He spend his days and nights raging at the sun and at the moon.

Asking for guidance

Desperate and confused, the young girl decided to ask for help. So, one day she went to meet the town’s most reputed healer.

“My husband was badly injured in the war,” the girl said. “He rages continuously and eats nothing. He wishes to stay outside and will not live with me as before. Can you give me a potion that will make him loving and gentle once again?”

“Yes, I can do this for you”, said the healer. “But I need a special ingredient. Unfortunately, I am all out of hair from the crescent moon bear. So, you must climb the mountain, find the black bear and bring me back a single hair from the crescent moon at its throat. Then, I can give you what you need, and life will be good again.”

Journeying through emotions

And off she goes. The next morning, the young girl embarked on her journey on the mountain, to meet the bear with the magical hair.

She climbed, and climbed, and climbed, stepping on the icy snows, defying the wind and the cold.

She rested in dark and damp caves and saved the food for the moment she was going to meet the bear.

After days and days of journeying, she finally saw the wild creature, sniffing for berries.

She pulled the food out of her bag and shared it with the bear.

The girl did the same the next day, and the next day, and then the next day, until she felt brave enough to meet the bear in person.

The animal howled himself onto its back legs, smacked its jaws and roared so that the girl could see right up into the read-and-brown roof of its mouth.

“Please, dear bear, I’ve been feeding you all this past nights. Could I, please, have one of the hairs from the crescent moon on your throat?”

She told him her whole story and the bear conceded to give her a hair from his fur.

Then, she hurried back through the snows and the storm and the cold, to meet the healer one more time.

The man took the hair, congratulated the girl for her brave deeds, threw the precious hair into the fire and said: “Remember each step you took to climb the mountain? Remember each step you took to capture the trust of the crescent moon bear? Remember what you saw, what you heard, and what you felt? Remember the emotions that showed up along the journey? Now, go home with these new understandings and proceed in the same ways with your husband.”

Why emotions are your best guides

That’s how the story ends.

And the most important lesson we learn is that challenging as it might be, getting in touch with our emotions is the supreme self-care strategy.

The best way of getting in touch with your emotions is to accept them and the lessons they bring.

How do you actually do that?

The first step is to admit your emotions. Don’t judge the negative ones harsher than the positive ones.

Second, ask yourself — what is the lesson/message this emotion brings to me?

Most of the time we get confused because we have mixed emotions, contradictory ones regarding the same situation.

Yet, by embracing this paradox we come full circle, gaining the wisdom we need in order to do what is best for us.

Third, take a full emotional perspective on the situation you are dealing with. Then, take a deep breath, switch gears and take a full rational perspective on the same situation. Lastly, bring the two perspectives at the same table. What comes up? What serves you best? What do you need in order to grow? What is the action that will best support you now?

And last but not least, come back and share with us how this exercise gave you insight into the situations that matter to you.

In love & sisterhood,

p.s. If you enjoyed this powerful story, I’m sure you’re gonna L.O.V.E this one and this one as well 😉

And here’s a CHALLENGE! Here, amongst The Feminine community, we have a thing for stories, myths, legends and anything in between. So, if you know a story that speaks out about passion, emotions, sensuality, beauty, self-care or anything related to womanhood, please share it with us at [email protected].

Because, don’t forget, sharing is more than carrying. Sharing is YOUR commitment for a better world.